What is the cost?
I was scrolling through Facebook the other day and saw this meme (pictured above)
Recently I have been faced with this question. What is the cost of a careless decision? What is the cost of a missed opportunity? What is the cost of ignoring an inclination or prompting?
Of course the answer to these is not always calculable. Considering these questions has prompted me to look at the other side of the coin. What is this investment worth? What dividends will come as a result?
Let me give you an example. One evening, my daughter came and sat on my lap just as I was getting up to go do some work. With a semi-whiney voice, she said, “Daddy, I want you to hold me.” A bubble of frustration welled up in my chest. I had just been sitting here available to snuggle, where was she ten minutes ago? I have so much to do and not a lot of time to do it. I am feeling pressure to get these things done.
Cost
What would the cost have been of me brushing her off, telling her once again, that, “Daddy is busy” and “If Daddy doesn’t work then we don’t have what we need.” The cost surely could have been minor. Hurt feelings and a sad girl until she finds something else to do and is content again. Over time that cost begins to add up. It adds up to a loss of time, a loss of a close relationship, a loss of connection. It adds up to my daughter possibly learning that Dad is too busy to be available when I need him… possibly when I need him most. The thought of this leaves a sick feeling in my stomach.
Investment
On the flip side, what is the investment? What dividends come from me sacrificing 10 or 15 more minutes of my time to sit and hold my precious little girl? The investment is a little girl who knows she can count on her father. A little girl who knows if she is in trouble or is feeling sad that there is someone she can come to for comfort. The feeling of being important, valued, and loved for 10 or 15 minutes. Over time that investment grows. It grows into a meaningful relationship. It builds into safety and security for a girl who is growing up in a world that tells her she is not enough. It builds into a girl knowing she can count on her father, especially in a time of need. The thought of this brings tenderness to my heart and tears to my eyes.
Is it worth it?
I lost 10 to 15 minutes of time; valuable time. I am still behind on my work. I may get some heat from those who oversee my work. This is stressful and uncomfortable. When I return home and my little girl asks me to hold her tight again, it is all worth it…worth it a million times over again.
What is it in your relational life that seems like a cost? What is the actual cost? Is it worth seeing this as an investment rather than a cost? What does that add up to over time? Can you see it? What does it do for you?
Make the Investment.
I think the meme I shared with this post sums it up. Make the investment. It will change your world and the world of someone you love.
Sage Family Counseling
If you, a loved one, or your family could use guidance on how you can make investments in your family relationships, consider seeking out the counseling services available at Sage Family Counseling. Our teen counseling or couple therapy services could help you manage your family relationships and start investing your time in the areas where it will matter most. Contact us today for a free consultation.
